April 2009
4 posts
5 tags
want. things. can't.
The sick pointlessness of it all… my brain hurts from living I want to continue, I really do. But why continue in the face of an utter and complete lack of substance. What is substance? A goal, maybe. I need something to distract me from past regrets. I need something that will fill the void that mistakes have left in my life. I want only a few basic things. But as I write that sentence. “I...
5 tags
vestigial organ
I’ve been suffering from an unnerving sensation of uselessness lately. I only go to work. I don’t produce anything meaningful. It doesn’t help that my job isn’t fulfilling, but I should be working on my own projects regardless. I use to write more, but the motivation has left me. There was a time when I was interested in a multitude of arts. I liked to draw. I liked digital...
7 tags
the high water mark
Six months ago I sat in my Milwaukee apartment on a nice sunny day and I was miserable. I was living like a dead man, anticipating the inevitable end and rebirth that comes with big changes. I didn’t think about the moment at hand, which in hindsight was blissful, and focused instead on my demise. I was on the verge of ending my college tenure, and with no job in sight and the reality of a liberal...